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Find Your Position In Hell
Thats right, you knew you were going there anyway, so heres a map to help you along!
Evaluate the seriousness of your sins and locate your probable destination. I know its an Atheist site, but its fun nevertheless to know exactly where you're going!
For a detailed description of each circle, see Dante Alighieri's The Divine Comedy.
Inscription on the gates of Hell:

"THrough me the way into the suffering city
Through me the way to the eternal pain
through me the way that runs among the lost
justice urged on my high artificer
my maker was divine authority,
the highest wisdom, and the primal love
before me nothing but eternal things were made, and I endure
eternally
abandon all hope, all ye who enter here"

ante-inferno:        
 those who lived without praise or blame; neutral angels

i limbo:                          
worthy, but lived before christianity and/or without baptism

river acheron

ii lust:                  
 lustful

iii gluttony:                
gluttonous
supine

iv avarice:                    
greedy
prodigal

v wrath:                       
wrathful
sullen
   fallen angels
     gates to dis, the lower region of hell

river styx

vi heresy:                      
arch heretics
heretics
malicious

vii violence:                
violent against their neighbours and fellows
violent against themselves (suicides) and their possessions (squanderers)
violent against god: blasphemers, sodomites and the supine
violent against nature and art                                         

river phlegethon

viii fraud:                       
panders and seducers
flatterers
simonists
  diviners, astrologers and magicians
 barrators
 hypocrites
thieves
fraudulent counsellors
sowers of scandal and schism
falsifiers: liars, alchemists and counterfeiters

river cocytus

ix traitors:                    
traitors to their kin
traitors to their homeland
traitors to their guests
traitors to their benefactors

satan

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